I'm not going to record every single details about my sales "internship" encounter. Just that, today, my very first trip to Philippines. First trip in my life, a lot of feelings popped up ever since I stepped out from the Airport.
Some very strong feelings below:
Boss started pressuring me, there gotta be some results in the end of the day. I hate this, but I will live with it. After all, I'm kind of person, greedy type of person, never want to give up, never want to let people to decide what I can or can't do.
Good to be a Malaysia Chinese, or rather proud to be a Malaysia Chinese. Saw many same faces like me, they are also yellow skin but non-Chinese speaking. I'm glad that I grew up in a Chinese community and family. I speak my mother tougue so well, I celebrate the Chinese traditional festive season, I keep my Chinese name, etc etc. Out of sudden, I tot if I'm going to have a kid. I'm sure I want her/his to grow up in Malaysia like I did! A less arrogant, more down-to-earth, simple and kind Malaysia Chinese.
Masato's wife is expecting. To be honest, nothing to do with me. (Of cuz I feel happy for him! he is my good colleague who gets along very well at work) But the pregrancy thing really bothers me.....what so good about having a baby ? Babyboom lately. One thing only came to my mind : that's unfair, why can't man carrying baby? and why it has to be woman's natural duty? I have so much undone task, yet I have so little time.
Last one..
Something really wrong inside me, I simply couldn't control this, I keep on thinking about you/missing you every single step I move, on the trip. This is really bad, really guilty. I just couldn't control myself behaving this way. God, will you save me? why am I like this?..and what am I supposed to do?
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